What Emotional Intelligence Is and How It Can Help You Heal

After my husband passed away, the grief and trauma felt unbearable at times. There were moments when I didn’t know if I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. But emotional intelligence (EQ) was one of the most powerful tools I had in my healing journey. It gave me the ability to understand what I was feeling, why I was feeling it, and how I could manage it.

EQ isn’t just about managing emotions. It’s about understanding and using your emotions in healthy ways. Here are the four key components of EQ that helped me during my grief:

1. Self-awareness: Recognizing my emotions for what they were—grief, anger, guilt—was the first step. I learned that it wasn’t about suppressing or ignoring my feelings. It was about acknowledging them and understanding their impact on my life.

   
   

2. Self-regulation: Grief can cause emotions to erupt in unexpected ways. Through EQ, I learned how to manage those emotions. I focused on calming practices like mindfulness, deep breathing, and journaling, which helped me gain control over my reactions.

   
   

3. Empathy: After losing my husband, I needed to connect with others who understood my pain. But I also needed to be kind to myself. Empathy helped me feel less isolated and more supported. I learned how to extend compassion toward myself and others during the darkest days.

   
   

4. Motivation: It was easy to want to give up. But through emotional intelligence, I found ways to channel my emotions into action. Whether it was getting out of bed in the morning or taking small steps toward healing, EQ helped me use my feelings to drive me forward.

Emotional intelligence didn’t erase my pain, but it gave me the tools to process it in a healthy way. It allowed me to understand my emotions instead of letting them control me.

Let’s connect: If you’re struggling to understand or manage your emotions during a difficult time, I’d love to hear your experience. Reach out to me, and let’s talk about how emotional intelligence can support your healing journey.